Bits of me

I am having an introspective day – brought on by a discussion with my BFF regarding karmic consequence and a sever lack of sleep.

I am (by Meyers-Briggs standards) an INTJ. We are rare (apparently) Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking, Judgementals. While, like all “test” the results do not define a person, some of the characteristics do ring very true for me.

I put some of them down here:

“many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality”

It is true, I have always, from as young as I can remember, held fairy unconventional views or ways of looking at things. This does not always make for easy conversations. So I learnt to take my first view of a situation and then think “what would someone else see?”. It was a difficult process to learn – but I have to say I am grateful. It taught me that people are different; people see different things in the same situation. Sometimes all people need is affirmation that what they see is there/important, in order for them to listen to what you see.

“Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously”

Irony. She is a b*tch, but I love her :D

“INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest.”

See this little gem was what sparked one of the conversations with BFF. She questioned why it was, that I was a control freak (I am, I can’t help it) and yet was so eternally prepared to accept people as they are. Firstly, cause controlling people… is just mean.

The main reason is cause I am an introspective person – I look inside first, before looking at external factors. So the thing I seek to control is me, my reactions, my behaviour. Not you. Realizing my potential, upholding my social responsibilities, bettering myself or seeking my true self – these are things I am responsible for. You are responsible for yours. Which means I can accept people regardless of where they are.

The downside is – I get mad. REALLY mad at people that, I deem, should be better then they are. Leaders who are greedy. Caregivers who are cruel. Judges who are … well stupid. Passivity in the face of injustice is not my strong suite, I have lost friends for it, I have lost jobs for it. To do “nothing” takes me putting aside a part of myself. The part that screams “Put on your Big Girl Pants, and take a look at yourself!”

Those that can do – should. Period. Don’t tell me it isn’t your job, your town, your problem. We all share this world… give this sleepy INTJ a break and do your part.